What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

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“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What’s the best way to get over someone you love?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Is it still wrong to spread misinformation even if it's only to troll people rather than harming them?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Do you think Christine Lagarde will be headed and will be heading for success in the next French presidential elections starting as soon as 2027?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Why do men say women hit the wall at 24?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What is truer than that which is true?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

If my boyfriend watches porn, does it mean he doesn’t think I’m good enough? If I am good enough, why does he still watch? Am I not beautiful enough?

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do entitled people demand that I pick up after my doggo when he goes to the bathroom? Do they not know that doggy doo decomposes & feeds the plants?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

If you believe in God, do you think God can save you from cancer?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Should Pete Rose's record as the all-time hits leader be recognized and celebrated?

Make Nazis afraid again!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

I have a bad reputation and need help. What should I do?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Have you ever had a weird experience immediately following the death of a loved one that made you think there is an afterlife and that the deceased person was communicating with you?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.